An executive recently came to my office looking not just tired, but haggard. Like she had pulled an all-nighter at work or like she had been up for hours with a sick young child. She slumped down into a chair, sighed a big sigh and said, “I’m exhausted. I am tired of drinking from a firehose every day.” Her team at work, she said, needs more of her time. And her leadership roles on two committees at church (one being a search committee for a new pastor) consume most of her off hours.
Her husband complains that the kids complain that she’s never really present. Remote work with endless emails and Zoom meetings with employees and customers keeps her glued to her computer and phone. “We’ve really not done anything fun in a year,” she said, “and the Peloton we bought at the beginning of COVID has not been used since Thanksgiving.”
She looked empty, sad and overwhelmed because she was empty, sad and overwhelmed.
I reminded her of what John Hornsby, my good friend, mentor and retired partner at Welch Hornsby, often reminds me: “Whenever you say ‘yes,’ somebody pays!”
I coach high-achieving executives who have great vision and aptitude for success, who make impactful things happen every day, and these people are in demand. Perhaps now more than ever! There’s always a shortage of truly effective leaders—at the office, in the community, with kid’s activities, etc. A year of living through a global pandemic, with increased responsibilities and stressors for everyone, has made good leaders even more valuable. And, for many, it has pushed them to the limit.
So, here are a few tips to help leaders avoid becoming overwhelmed:
- First, evaluate your obligations both in and out of the office. What are you doing now that you do not enjoy, find little value in or can give to someone else? Maybe it’s time for someone else in the company to represent the firm at United Way, your local chamber of commerce, industry groups and other organizations. You might gain a lot of time back just by giving these kinds of leadership roles to others. Or maybe it’s time to promote yourself to CEO and have someone else manage / lead the day-to-day activities.
- Know thyself and increase your self-awareness. Be conscious that, as a proven leader, people are going to come to you asking you to take on additional leadership roles. They will want you serving on key committees. They will always be asking to meet with you. Prioritize these asks. Figure out which ones are best for you and follow your head, not your heart. I have seen many executives get excited about becoming involved in various projects and causes, only to have “buyer’s remorse” later on. Do not let your emotions get the best of you. Remember, somebody pays. If you don’t want to be the one paying (or you simply don’t have the emotional resources or the time to do so), politely decline.
- Learn to say, “no,” and “not now.” If you hesitate to say “no” because you do not want to disappoint others, “not now” is a great substitute. It’s a soft no, and it allows you time to fully consider the ask and decide if you really want to do whatever it is. You also can change your mind in the future if circumstances allow. Your time is precious; learn to guard it and share it sparingly.
- Time block your calendar, and be sure to include all activities you do both in and out of the office. If you practice yoga every Thursday at 6:45 a.m. and it’s on the calendar, when someone asks you to be on a committee that meets at 7:30 a.m., you can honestly say you already have a standing prior commitment on that day. If it’s not on your calendar, you are much more likely to just go ahead and schedule the new commitment at the expense of something that is actually quite important—your physical and mental fitness.
- Speaking of time blocking, schedule regular “margin time” to give you a break from too many commitments or Zoom meetings or emails or whatever. Use this time to catch up with work and with family. Or, better yet, use some of this margin time to catch up with yourself—to figure out what’s really important to you.
There is a time management adage that goes like this: “If you want to kill time, work it to death.” I think a more modern take on this is: “Too much time at work could be working you to death.”
We are all being asked to do more and more, all while navigating a new normal at work and in life. Do what you can and say “no” to the rest.
I encourage you to always keep this in mind: When someone asks you to do something, somebody pays. Go ahead and pay it yourself, if you can. And if you can’t, don’t do it.
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