Father’s Day is this weekend, and this year, I’m especially grateful for the honor and privilege of being a dad. This year is special because Nicholas, our oldest, has graduated from college and just started his first job. It’s an exciting time for him. He’s with a great company, eager to learn and absolutely ready to start the foundation of his career.
I’ve offered Nicholas plenty of advice along the way. I’d like to pass along a little more guidance to him—and to all of the young people out there who are starting their careers or who are in early pursuit of whatever they want to achieve.
These words of advice are based on my own career spent coaching thousands of successful businesspeople.
- Do your best. I know that sounds basic and maybe too obvious. Most of you have heard this since you were very young. But in this context, it means being 100% committed to your own success. Don’t blame a company, the economy, your circumstances, etc., if you fall short of a goal. You are responsible for your own success—and nobody else.
- Be a lifelong learner. Consider high school and college to be “practice learning.” Now it’s the real thing, and you need to keep on learning—for the rest of your life. Get better every day, month, year and decade. Watch out for complacency; don’t fall into a rut. Always get better.
- Become an expert. It’s not enough to simply learn a “craft.” Just about everyone can do that. The secret is to “master” whatever you do. Be the best at it. Become the go-to person. Most people do about what it takes to be average. They don’t want to be at the bottom, of course, but many underperform to avoid attention. Stand out!
- Do more than is expected. It’s easy to simply do what is asked of you. Don’t stop there! Think about what else you can do to make your department, your company, your part of the world a better place. Is there a quicker, more cost-effective way to do things? Think!
- Don’t just do things right, do the right things. Your integrity, your good reputation, is your own and you should guard it fiercely. Do what it takes to develop and maintain a good reputation—in your relationships, at work, financially, etc. And know that even the most impeccable reputation can be destroyed in an instant by one bad decision. Also, make sure that your honest day’s work is exactly that—honest. Never compromise your values! If you are asked to do so, you should ask yourself if you are where you should be.
- You can achieve whatever you want in life if you are willing to do the hard work. Most people will let the obstacles they encounter along the way sidetrack them from their worthy goals. Consider the grind, the ups and downs of life, to be opportunities to learn and get better. Turn negative self-talk around. Embrace the hard stuff and pat yourself on the back when you make it through.
- Be a saver. Money doesn’t buy love or happiness, but it gives you options. Having a financial cushion allows you to solve a lot of problems, avoid needless stress and take advantage of opportunities that come your way. Get in the habit of saving with every paycheck.
- Happiness is directly tied to your positive relationships. Be a friend. Make a friend. Give freely and love easily. Laugh at mistakes and don’t keep score. Be comfortable in your own skin. I recently heard a great quote, “If your friends have to be perfect, then you’ll never have any friends because no one’s perfect.”
- Have faith—you’ll need it along the way. I’m not necessarily talking about going to church or synagogue each week (although that’s not a bad start). If you are the center of your own universe, somewhere along the way, you are going to be in a dark place, a sad and hopeless place, and you’ll be there alone. Faith in a higher being leads to hope and direction. It points the way to a path of joy and promise and love. Trust me, I tried to do life on my own at times, and it didn’t work very well. My Catholic faith is what has made my life full in good times and in bad ones, too.
- Enjoy the journey. Life is all about the journey—not the destination. Know that failure and success are not permanent; they are just steps along the way. As Dr. Kevin Elko says, “So what, now what?” I’ve coached several business owners who sold their businesses and made incredible amounts of money. They learned the “pot of gold” didn’t make them happy. What they longed for after selling was to have the business back—with all the pressures and decision making and even the problems. It was the journey that they missed. The journey is the joy. Never forget that.
Finally, I know not everyone has had an ideal relationship with their father. That’s life. If you benefited from a positive experience and years of fatherly wisdom, thank your father (or father figure) for that. Consider what life lessons he taught you and be grateful for them. Pass them along. If the opposite is true, I encourage you to forgive him. Don’t just do it for his sake—do it for your own peace of mind. Anger corrodes the vessel within. Remember that as you move forward.
Happy Father’s Day to all!
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