Let’s conclude our discussion about the art of giving advice. I started this series by sharing Jim Rohn’s quote, “Don’t mistake courtesy for consent.” Often, executives and managers give advice only to have the employee listen politely—and then ignore the advice completely. Asking a few follow-up questions will alleviate this situation.
Last time, I pointed out that unsolicited advice often is viewed as criticism. Advice is great—as long as it is welcome and offered in moderation. For more about this, go to https://corsini.com/uncategorized/unsolicited-advice-is-often-seen-as-criticism
Today, let’s wrap this up with a few words about who needs advice and when. I’ll use Food Network’s Restaurant Impossible as an example to show that the time to seek advice is before something needs changing.
Restaurant Impossible stars British chef and restaurateur Robert Irvine. In each episode, restaurant owners who are struggling financially and emotionally contact Chef Robert seeking advice for saving their failing restaurants.
Now remember: They asked for this advice (and probably had to interview long and hard for it, too).
The show begins with Chef Robert’s assessment of their current dire state of affairs, and then he tells the beleaguered restaurant owners why they are in the shape they are in. Then we watch as the owners argue over and over again about his evaluation and opinions of their restaurants.
They strongly resist his advice. They are NOT open to changing what they are doing. They stonewall. They squabble. They fight Chef Robert at almost every turn.
It’s not until he pushes back that they eventually submit. Irvine usually puts the hard, important question directly to them: “So how’s your current way of doing business working for you?”
Of course, they must admit it’s not working at all.
The second part of the show is spent fixing what needs to be fixed—some remodeling of the space, some simplification of the menu, some attitude adjustment on the part of the restaurant owners.
I’ve found that the people most in need of advice are often the ones most resistant to change.
Many people in desperate situations are the least receptive to advice—like these restaurant owners who are backed against an unyielding wall and about to lose everything and yet they waste precious time and emotional energy arguing about the advice they are given.
My advice: Seek advice early so you can get ahead of problems. When you are under enormous stress, you are not in a place to be receptive to anyone’s message—no matter how sound their advice.
Finally, it has been my experience that the people who make the most progress in coaching—and in life—are the people who are most receptive to advice. Success does take a village! These people want and welcome input, suggestions and ideas on how to improve and succeed. They ask for advice before they absolutely need it. Even if they don’t follow the advice to the letter, the guidance usually sparks good ideas and, more importantly, positive action.
Seek out advice and then be open to it, and you’ll do what you do better.
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