Before we continue our conversation about winning, I want to announce a winning new approach to selling. I recently launched an innovative, comprehensive selling model called Authentic Selling, and I’ve published a companion eBook, Authentic Selling:  A Better Way to Do What You Do. My new sales approach encourages an advisory role in selling, and the eBook shows just how to do that. The eBook will be available for free download on May 1, 2013 on the Corsini website.

Now, last time we talked about pleasure vs. pain and how we are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. I encouraged you to work through the pain and continue to pursue your goals (more business, bigger clients, etc.) even in the face of rejection and loss and pain.

Tennis Player Awaiting ServeToday, let’s talk about finding wins in losses.

Consider what happens during a tennis tournament like Wimbledon.  Ultimately, there is only one winner of the tournament. So are all of the other players losers? You could say yes, but I see lots of winners in the tournament, too.

There probably is going to be one player who is playing at the tournament for the first time, and I’m guessing that player will have finally reached a life-long goal. There will be an unseeded player who upsets a seeded player in one of the rounds. There will be a player who has never won a set over a specific opponent. In fact, there will be little wins and big wins for lots of players.

In business, you have to look for those “little wins” along the way. Your first win might be getting an initial meeting with a decision-maker at a large company. The next “win” might come after 10 first meetings when one of the companies you’re pursuing accepts another meeting with you. It could take six months and several first and second meetings until you “win” the opportunity to present a proposal. You could present ten times before you make it to a face-to-face with one of the company partners. And finally, you might come in second five to ten times before you win the big prize.

Some would say there are lots of losses happening—and they would be right. Others will point out that there are several “wins” in there, too. These optimistic people also will say you are doing the things you must do (working through the pain) in order to finally experience the pleasure of winning.

I love what Marilyn vos Savant said, “Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

In your business, what are the little wins you can reward yourself for when you encounter the pains of losing?