Expectations (and How to Manage Them)

Often when I’m coaching a CEO, president or senior partner of a company and they are frustrated about what someone in their organization isn’t doing “correctly,” they will say: “If I were them, I would … “ Then, they go on to say how something should or shouldn’t be done. Essentially, they talk about how they would react in the situation. How they would handle it.

Whenever I hear this, I tell them: “Don’t expect you from anyone else.” Why do I say this? The leader I’m coaching is almost always a highly talented, disciplined and self-aware executive who, throughout their career, has known what to do and, usually with very little supervision or direction, just does it—and does it right. The very reason they’re in a top leadership role in most cases is because of their ability to know what to do, how to do it and when to do it in almost all situations.

Here’s the other thing:  Often what seems obvious to the frustrated leader is simply not as apparent to the executive, manager or employee they’re working with. If you have six or eight direct reports, it is unrealistic to expect that all of them will know exactly what to do and when to do it. And I guarantee you, none can read minds.

Eve Meceda, a Vistage speaker who talked to our executive peer groups, led a discussion on a “fixed” vs a “growth” mindset. She offered a great way to assess why someone is underperforming or simply not doing what you want them to do. Ask yourself: “Is it a skill, will or hill?”

Skill? Do they have the skill to do what you want and need for them to do? They may not know how to do what you want, and that would be a skill issue. Training would be the prescription to build the desired skill so they can consistently get the job done.

Will? Do they know what to do but then just don’t want to do it? We’re seeing more and more of that in the workplace today. As people find themselves with so many work options, wanting and getting so much flexibility in their jobs, they are putting up more and stronger boundaries about what they will and won’t do. If you try to make them do something they don’t want to do, they’ll just quit and go somewhere else. Consider exploring why they don’t want to do something. Maybe it’s just a matter of miscommunication. Maybe they don’t fully understand the task. Or maybe they lack confidence. Talk to them. Really listen. Then communicate exactly what it is you need and how they can make it happen.

Hill? And finally, is there an obstacle getting in the way? Is there a problem of some sort keeping them from doing what you want them to do? Maybe the company is not set up for them to successfully complete the task. Maybe they don’t know they have the authority to do something? Are there budget concerns? Flexibility? Empowerment? Resources? Have you given them the tools to accomplish what you want them to do?

Here are some Skill, Will & Hill resources you might want to explore:

Consider the Skill, Will or Hill exercise the next time someone on your team is underperforming. Take time to figure out where the problems lie and if they are fixable. Often, they are—if you just take the time to fully explore the situation. It beats being frustrated. And remember:  You are you. And you can’t expect others to be you, too.