At some point in our lives, we all need an outside perspective to help us do what we do better. To help us see the entire forest through the trees.
I have relied upon an executive and life coach to help me sort through my full work schedule; live up to my role as an active father and attentive husband; and fulfill my desire and need to carve out some exercise time (and some quiet time) in my busy days. I don’t always succeed in all of these areas, but having someone hold me accountable is a success in itself. She and I have worked together for almost 20 years, and she’s helped me see my blind spots, understand my true strengths and strive to be a better person overall.
My coach helps me set priorities and cut through the “noise” of daily life. She brings an outside perspective to help me figure out what is fundamental to my own success both in and out of the office.
Once during a session, my life coach asked me: “What brings you joy?” I quickly responded, “Speaking in public.” I had just given a series of talks about my business, and I was still excited and energized from the success of these talks.
“From what you’ve told me,” my coach said, “speaking gives you juice not joy. Public speaking gives you adrenaline, but I haven’t seen where it brings you much real joy.”
There was an awkward silence in the room. She’d just hit a nerve—one that had become desensitized from the “juice” or “rush” that I’d been getting from the well-received speaking engagements. Suddenly, I felt a sense of disappointment because, at the time, I really didn’t know what brought me joy.
I thought it was public speaking, and that’s certainly something I enjoyed and continue to enjoy. But we’re talking about real joy, and that’s something different. That’s something deeper and more profound. When I stopped to really think about it, I realized that public speaking was certainly stimulating and fun, but it didn’t really bring me actual joy.
I’m in a different place now, but, at that time, the rush I got from a crowded room of people who wanted to hear what I had to say was simply a fun distraction in a life riddled with anxiety and frustration.
So, over the next few months, my coach and I concentrated on what really does bring me joy—not just juice. And today, I have a much clearer understanding of what brings true joy to my life—coaching (helping executives become better leaders and accelerating their company’s growth), family (my wife and children), God, my friends, and reading (both for work and for fun).
Today, I recognize the differences between what “juices me up” and what brings me true joy. And understanding these differences has reduced my stress and anxiety and helped me enjoy life more fully. This recognition has become fundamental to my success and my ability to help others succeed as well. It took me years to figure it out, but it’s worth any effort.
Knowing the difference between what gives you “juice” and what brings you joy is fundamental to your success and happiness, too. Are you able to discern that difference? Are you filling your life with adrenaline rushes that juice you up for the moment but leave you feeling spent and empty by the end of the day? Doing things that bring you true joy results in deep contentment. Your life is fuller, you are happier and so are those around you. You do what you do better, and people want to follow your leadership.
Figure out the difference between juice and joy. It will make all the difference in the world.
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